Hello Technology

I have finally caught up with the rest of the world and updated my sad little flip phone to the iphone from Verizon. When I got my old phone (the revel) it was totally in and cool and within a couple short years, I became so uncool. I have been completely attached to my new phone for the last 48 hours, as I am learning how to work everything (yea, and download fun apps)

Ready to laugh? I actually put my phone in a sock when I went to run errands today because I don't have covers for it yet and I didn't want anything to happen to it in the "black hole" that is my purse.

So for all of you that have had an ipod touch, ipad, or iphone for awhile....blah. If there is anyone out there like me....this phone is pretty awesome :)



A Big Change

Well, tomorrow is the day. I have to leave my baby for the first time with his new babysitter. I can't believe it! My heart is aching and I feel terrible. We are going today to see her and drop off all his things. I just can't believe this is actually happening. I am going to be a sobbing mess. My first day back at work and I will be crying right along with the Kindergartners that miss their mommies. I'll just have to tell them that we are on the same boat, they miss their moms and I miss my baby :(

Ugh, Ugh, Ugh Women do this all the time and way sooner then 5 months, but it is still so hard. In my head I know everything will be okay, but my heart says, "waaaaaaaaa!"

Wish me luck!

Gulp!

The school year has officially started and I am a bit sad that I do not have a classroom to work in this year. Being a substitute will be good because I will be able to spend more time with Noah. I have finally chosen a babysitter (hence the gulp for a title) and I am working on a starting day to begin leaving the baby. I can't stand this! I am practically in tears as I write this, it is a really hard transition.

Not to mention, I just logged onto the sytem that shows any available jobs for subs and I have been assigned to a Kindergarten room all next week! No one even asked me or told me about it. I wasn't planning on leaving the baby until after Labor Day. Do I call them and say I can't do it, or suck it up and take him to the babysitter way earlier than I planned. I don't know what to do?!

Whining

Oh my goodness. I didn't check my email, Facebook, or blog since Wednesday. I had a lot of catching up to do. I helped my mom with her garage sale and she did pretty good. My husband and I finally had a date night. Our last one was in June. Thank you to my wonderful aunt who volunteered to watch Noah on  her Friday night.

I am currently struggling with a few things...
1. My weight. I feel like at 4 1/2 months post baby I should be able to at least squeeze into my old jeans but I'm not even close. I've been working out and watching what I eat. I know I could be doing more, but it's really frustrating.
2. Most schools, in Ohio, start around August 24th. I don' t have much time left and I really, really, really desire a full time position. Even though this means leaving Noah all day, in the long run it will benefit him, because we will be able to do more as a family with two incomes (stupid economy)
3. Need to get back into the groove with my husband. I feel like we are on the repeat button. He goes to work, comes home, makes dinner, I take care of the baby, put the baby to bed, we go to bed, etc.

Although I have a lot to be thankful for, this particular blog is all negative.

Am I a Bad Mommy??

I went through a full closet purging today. I usually keep up with it pretty well. I will get rid of things that have just been in there for far too long and donate them to Goodwill. Today however, was a full on assault. Even though it felt good, it felt a little sad too. Many of the clothes I was getting rid of were my pre-pregnant clothes and they just don't fit.

Iman (gorgeous model married to David Bowie) said in an article, "wear what fits you now, not what you're hoping to fit into later."

So, I really miss my old size and I know it's only been 4 months since I had Noah, but I can't wear any of my clothes yet.

Am I a bad mom because I want to be the way I was before I was pregnant? Some women really embrace their new bodies and just know that it comes with having children, but I don't want to be that way. Just because I had a baby doesn't mean I want to start wearing clothes 3 sizes or more than what I use to. I miss how I use to look.

Not to mention I really can't afford to do a whole new wardrobe purchase. It just makes me sad.