Am I a Bad Mommy??

I went through a full closet purging today. I usually keep up with it pretty well. I will get rid of things that have just been in there for far too long and donate them to Goodwill. Today however, was a full on assault. Even though it felt good, it felt a little sad too. Many of the clothes I was getting rid of were my pre-pregnant clothes and they just don't fit.

Iman (gorgeous model married to David Bowie) said in an article, "wear what fits you now, not what you're hoping to fit into later."

So, I really miss my old size and I know it's only been 4 months since I had Noah, but I can't wear any of my clothes yet.

Am I a bad mom because I want to be the way I was before I was pregnant? Some women really embrace their new bodies and just know that it comes with having children, but I don't want to be that way. Just because I had a baby doesn't mean I want to start wearing clothes 3 sizes or more than what I use to. I miss how I use to look.

Not to mention I really can't afford to do a whole new wardrobe purchase. It just makes me sad.

Uncertain Future

August 1st starts the waiting game. This is when schools in Ohio start to make calls for interviews and determine what teachers they need to hire for the school year. Unfortunately it doesn't leave the hired teacher more than 2 weeks to prepare for a classroom of students. I have found myself in this position twice now.

This year I REALLY REALLY want to finally find a permanent position. I would say if I haven't heard anything by August 15th, it's probably  not going to happen. I am trying to remain hopeful and trust in God, that if it is in my future to teach, I will get a call. Still there are times when I can't help but feel anxious. So if anyone reads this- send positive thoughts my way.

I Did It!

Alright! It was a tough appointment for my little man. He had shots, an oral vaccine, and peed on the doctor. (That's for the shots) I was a strong mommy and did not cry when he got his shots. I did have to look away while holding his hands, but I made it through. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it made me feel stronger. I can be there for my baby without crying like one.

Way to go, Noah!

Doctor Anxiety

Okay, so apparently I am not the only new mom who hates to take their baby to the doctor. I made a post about my first visit and several other moms on Facebook made me feel better by saying they did the same thing. The first month I cried like a little baby when he had to get a shot. The second month I needed my grandma to come with me for back-up. She held Noah's hands while he got his shots and I had to look away until it was over and I still got a little teary-eyed. Now tomorrow is his 4 month shots and I am going to attempt to go alone and be a grown-up. I just figured I would be strong and know that my baby will be fine, but the emotional side of me takes over and I just loose it.

So here's hoping tomorrow I can stay calm and make it through the shots- I have anxiety about it already.

Call Me Old Fashion

Although I appreciate technology and the advances that are being made, I still love traditional things. I get that a kindle is convenient, but I am a lover of books. I love holding a worn classic in my hand and turning the pages. Reading is more than just looking at the words. It is a complete sensory experience. I truly hope that with all the ebooks and Ipads, children still feel engaged by an actual story book. 

I just read an article in parentingthe early years magazine relating to this. It was in the August 2011 issue titled "Where Have Basic Skills Gone?" by Holly Pevzner. The first line said, "...practical skills in the preschool set are apparently being neglected as digital skills take over." Basically saying that children going into preschool can work a cell phone or a DVR but can't even tie their own laces or write their name. YIKES!

As a new mommy and a teacher I know enough to work with my child, but it is scary that people don't see the importance of hands on, basic skills for their children. So I am hoping that parents out there find a balance between current trends and technology and basic life skills and activities.

"Starving Artist"- How 'Bout Teacher

Believe it or not, it's pictures like this that get me EXCITED!! This is a shot of my very favorite area of a classroom...the library. This is my first teaching position. It was the most exciting and anxious time in my life. I was more calm about having a child than I was about this position. I really wanted to make a good impression and because it was my first class I was nervous to do anything "wrong". Since I was only hired on as a long-term substitute, it only lasted a year.


I have had another classroom since then and several sub jobs, but here I am 27, baby, married....no job. I am realizing I have a better chance of getting struck by lightening then I do getting a teaching job in Ohio. Move you say...well I have thought about it...but I am a stickler for my little bubble and I don't want to leave. Plus I don't think it's much better anywhere else.


So here I am, hoping and PRAYING that this is the year! So I have been meditating day and night about getting a call from a district offering me a job. I just can't give up on chasing this bubble!!