TGIF: Yes, I'm Alive

Well, I apologize for not posting anything in what seems like forever. I worked this whole week and I am still finding it difficult to balance working all day, being a mommy, cleaning my house, and being a human. I tend to do two at a time and then the others get forgotten.
Work was fine and I even worked out 2 days this week(the scale still hasn't budged- such a bummer). The baby was taken care of, but my house should be condemned it is so filthy and I don't think I have said more than 5 words to my husband that didn't include feeding or changing the baby.

 I can't wait to spend this whole weekend squishing and mushing my little peanut. Here's what he has been up to this week.  I hope you all have a fabulous fall weekend!

Almost Crawling!!! This is at his baby sitter's house- FYI

Watching Mommy make the yummy banana muffins below. The only reason I had time to make these was because they all fell from their peels and they were going to go bad. I had to run to the store and buy eggs just to get them done. I couldn't believe I found time to bake so I took a picture of them in all their scrumptiousness.

Hanging out and playing! He is so sweet, we really have such a good baby.

Here's to letting the dishes sit, letting the laundry pile up and spending time with family. Enjoy your weekend!!

Something to Ponder....

Sometimes I feel "old fashion" in my values and beliefs because our world is so desensitized to just about everything. Mix that with my love of teaching and the number of children I see affected by the changing dynamic of families and it can get me down sometimes. I am so thankful to have my faith and know that I can give Noah a strong foundation.
Normally I do not pay attention or participate in "chain mail" type posts on Facebook. I find them annoying. This particular post, maybe it was the length of it, caught my attention and struck a cord. so I have decided to share it with you.

BY A 15 yr. OLD SCHOOL KID Who got an A+ for this entry Since the Pledge of Allegiance And The Lord's Prayer Are not allowed in most Public schools anymore Because the word 'God' is mentioned..... A kid in Arizona wrote the attached NEW School prayer:

 "New Pledge of Allegiance" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now I sit me down in school Where praying is against the rule For this great nation under God Finds mention of Him very odd. If scripture now the class recites, It violates the Bill of Rights. And anytime my head I bow Becomes a Federal matter now. Our hair can be purple, orange or green, That's no offense; it's a freedom scene. The law is specific, the law is precise. Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice. For praying in a public hall Might offend someone with no faith at all. In silence alone we must meditate, God's name is prohibited by the state. We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks, And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks. They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible. To quote the Good Book makes me liable. We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen, And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King. It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong, We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong. We can get our condoms and birth controls, Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles. But the Ten Commandments are not allowed, No word of God must reach this crowd. It's scary here I must confess, When chaos reigns the school's a mess. So, Lord, this silent plea I make: Should I be shot; My soul please take! Amen If you aren't ashamed to do this, Please pass this on. Jesus said, 'If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.' Not ashamed.

From Facebook

6 Months Already!

We found this lovely woman, Sarah, who has her own photography business Apple Tree Photography. She took us to this beautiful park for Noah's 6 month photos. We also brought Lola along for a couple family shots. I have been very against having pictures taken of myself, because I feel very self-conscious about my weight, but I just love seeing my family all together, so it was well worth it. Here is a preview of the pictures we had taken.....

Regression

I hope other new moms have experienced what I am going through. I feel myself noticing every woman walking around with an infant and thinking, so unfair, her baby can't be much older than Noah and look how thin she looks. I was small before the baby (not a model by any means, but able to wear size 4's) and I truly thought I would be back in my old pants-HA! the jokes on me because I am currently not even close to my old size. Up until yesterday I was still wearing maternity pants and I couldn't take it anymore so I finally gave in a bought two pairs of pants.

The reason I was holding off was because I thought I would be back in my old size again and I didn't want to waste money on new pants. Now that I am back at work, my wardrobe is way too limiting and I needed to get pants. If there ever was a more disheartening moment; standing in that dressing room having to choose pants 5 sizes too big, was an emotional overload. I feel so defeated.

Not only that, but I feel like after wearing maternity clothes and then not fitting into my old clothes yet, I am having a fashion regression. I have no idea what to put on when I get dressed because it pretty much comes down to (does this fit without making me still look pregnant) I feel like I am loosing my ability to recognize what is cute, to opt for what is comfortable (yuck) I am sure that this will turn around soon, but in the mean time all of you women who are all skinny and back in cute clothes.....you should feel very blessed and know that I am insanely jealous of you.

Blessed

Let me preface my post today with this...I believe I have mentioned this before, but I am an elementary teacher. (Currently subbing do to the poor job market in Ohio) I have a love (okay obsession) with children's books.

Work has been truly great this time around. I have been subbing for awhile now (not by choice, by necessity) and this is the least stressed I've been entering a different classroom every day. Maybe it is my confidence in my teaching, maybe it is having more experience than ever, maybe it is the fact that I am a mommy, or all of this together.

I was in a first grade classroom of a friend yesterday. She had me do a lesson using the book below. It is all about how each person has an invisible bucket that can be filled or dipped into all day long. You can fill some one's bucket by being kind, helpful, and respectful. You can also dip into some one's bucket when you are negative, mean spirited, or rude.

 

 If you have not been around young children lately, you may be surprised how many do not have families that put emphasis on good character. I think this is a great read and something to share with your child because the best teacher a child will ever have is their own parent.

I also want to add that my own bucket was raised a little higher on Friday. One of the Kindergarten teachers in the building I was working in said to me, "Samantha, I've been meaning to tell you. Of all the subs, and tutors, and teachers looking for a job in this district right now, you are by far the most positive and pleasant to be around. You are always friendly and in good spirits. It is very refreshing. I really hope you end up getting a position because you really deserve it."

This really felt great and I appreciate his words so much. It is sometimes hard to stay positive (just see my previous posts) but I really do try. He could have kept this comment to himself, but he shared it with me, and it really meant a lot.

I hope that my readers find some inspiration in this post.

Sincerely,

S

Little Man

Noah is five and a half months old! I thought I would share some of my favorite pictures of him lately. He just makes me smile all day long! Everything I am doing and hoping for, is for him.

We live in Cleveland and my husband is a huge Browns fan. Even though they are not that good, he is a true die hard fan. So...my little man gets dressed up to support his daddy's team.

A Little Credit

I really think it's annoying when people complain about money (or flaunt it) but I do feel the need to briefly talk about my current situation. Normally I would write something like this in my journal, but today you get to share in my drama- so sorry.

I took 5 months off of work to have Noah. That's the longest I have ever gone without making some sort of income. I don't know how the rest of marriages work, but my husband and I choose to each have our own checking accounts and then a joint checking account-it works for us. Well, my not working and the hospital bills really hit hard. Neither of us has had any personal money for months. Once his check comes in, it's pretty much gone. I am just not use to living like this.

On top of all this, both of our cars (which are paid off thankfully) have needed to be fixed 2 times each and the total bill was not cheap.

I also have to add that I really do love to shop, even if it's to the thrift store for second hand books. I wasn't buying anything for the longest time and I think I finally cracked....

I started using my credit card (which I vowed to myself not to use upon pain of death) to get little things here and there. Most of it was for the baby so I validated it. Well....I went a little crazy shopping for my nephew's first birthday (I really got a deal though) and my husband saw the purchases. Needless to say, my credit card is now in a million sparkly pieces at the bottom of our shredder. :(

This is for the best, because I really do believe if you can't afford something you shouldn't charge it and I want to pay off the debt not add to it. But a part of me is actually sad (I know it's pathetic) that I now have no means to buy anything.

I am starting to get panicky because birthdays and Christmas are right around the corner. I have started working again so hopefully things turn around a little bit in the very near future. And just so you don't think I am a completely greedy, materialistic idiot.... we have also had to cut back on our charitable giving which really bothers me because I feel it is necessary to give back. 

Tomorrow will be a better day and maybe I have a case of the Mondays, so I am sorry you have to share in this sad little post. Wishing you all the best!!

At Peace

I think I am finally at peace with the fact that I am subbing again this year. I thought about all the negatives and positives. There are far more negatives, but the positive is so huge, that it has made me realize this is what is intended for me at this point in time. I just have to have faith that next year will be the year. I thought I would share my list below. My negative list really hurts my heart. I am so grateful to not miss out on my little man's first year that "the positives exceed the negatives".

The negatives:
*owing Kent thousands of dollars to not have a career
*a huge financial strain on our family
*storing A TON of materials in my parent's basement
*feeling like I have not accomplished my goals(basically called a loser)
*money (well, it's a big one)
*my license is going to expire soon
*having to work in other people's rooms
*not being able to move because we can't afford it on one income
*having feelings of not being good enough, even though I am
*the impatience of waiting 6 years for a career that I should have already

Positives:
*I get to spend more time with Noah compared to working full time
*zero work stress

Happy Tuesday!

I didn't have to work today so I am looking forward to getting some things done that I did NOT do this weekend. One thing I DID do (see pics below) is get some baby food made with my baby bullet. I made a post about getting it some time ago and I was putting it off. I think I was afraid it might be hard or that I wouldn't do it right. I told myself this weekend to jump in and do it. The pics below are the fruit making process- so so so easy! I can't wait to try more varieties.

The fruit making process was super easy and quick. I found this microwave steamer at Babies R' US by Annabel Karmel and it makes softening the harder foods, so quick.

This is the freezer storage tray that comes with the Baby Bullet system. I also bought more food containers so I could make food in bulk.

Here is Noah in his high chair for the first time. I thought I would throw this in for good measure. Happy Eating!!

TGIF!!!

After working all this week, I can't wait to spend this long weekend with my special little man. I have missed him so much! I hope everyone has a fun Labor Day weekend!!