Just the Mommy Uplift I Needed

Home after my first day back at work since having Noah. I cried the entire way to work this morning, after leaving him at his sitter's house. It's so hard seeing your baby in someone else's arms while you walk away. Work went really well, I got to see my students from last year and all the staff too. Noah did great and he just loved playing with our sitter's daughter. It makes me feel good that he is being so cared for. When I got home, I was checking my favorite blogs and rockstar diaries posted this little poem below, originally found here. It totally was the uplift I needed after an emotionally long day.

A Big Change

Well, tomorrow is the day. I have to leave my baby for the first time with his new babysitter. I can't believe it! My heart is aching and I feel terrible. We are going today to see her and drop off all his things. I just can't believe this is actually happening. I am going to be a sobbing mess. My first day back at work and I will be crying right along with the Kindergartners that miss their mommies. I'll just have to tell them that we are on the same boat, they miss their moms and I miss my baby :(

Ugh, Ugh, Ugh Women do this all the time and way sooner then 5 months, but it is still so hard. In my head I know everything will be okay, but my heart says, "waaaaaaaaa!"

Wish me luck!

My Whole Heart

Here is Noah playing with his cousin Donovan. Donovan is 10 months old and is half Puerto Rican and when he is next to Noah, he makes him look so white. They are going to be best buds.

I cannot resist a cute hat. This fedora is a little too big still but so cute. The newsboy hat below is my favorite. We are actually having such beautiful weather in Ohio right now and it's perfect for sitting outside.

Gulp!

The school year has officially started and I am a bit sad that I do not have a classroom to work in this year. Being a substitute will be good because I will be able to spend more time with Noah. I have finally chosen a babysitter (hence the gulp for a title) and I am working on a starting day to begin leaving the baby. I can't stand this! I am practically in tears as I write this, it is a really hard transition.

Not to mention, I just logged onto the sytem that shows any available jobs for subs and I have been assigned to a Kindergarten room all next week! No one even asked me or told me about it. I wasn't planning on leaving the baby until after Labor Day. Do I call them and say I can't do it, or suck it up and take him to the babysitter way earlier than I planned. I don't know what to do?!

I really have to stop shopping

I went back to Katie Bug's Kloset because I am obsessed and I have a shopping problem. I will admit it. Since I can't fit into my old size of clothes I refuse to buy anything for myself. The answer to this problem....buy for the baby. As you can see below, I found 5 shirts, 4 pants, a onesie, three books, and a set of flashcards for $47! Now I think this is a great price.

I couldn't resist on the books, you'll see why below. 

I'm digging through their books and I find this one! A story featuring Rottweilers, what are the odds of that. If I hadn't gone to the store than I wouldn't have found this great find. My other obsession, in case I failed to mention, is children's books. I could probably start my own library with the amount of books I have, but I can't stop.

To top it all off my beautiful little man is 5 months old Today- August 23rd! I just can't believe how fast time has gone.

Just a side note...I really hate bibs. I wish they made really fashionable ones or ones that blended in with outfits (for cheap). I hate bibs because they cover up the cute outfit, but my child drools and barfs constantly so I need to have him wear them.

Baby Bullet

I just got the baby bullet and I am really excited to get started making baby food for Noah. By no means am I an obsessive health nut, I just thought it would be fun and save us some money to make Noah's food. He'll be getting fresh baby food in the process which makes me feel like I am doing something really great for him. It looks like I'll probably have to get some extra storage containers, but I have enough to get started...wish me luck!

Fresh Air

I threw a blanket outside and decided to spend some outdoor time with Noah and Lola. I obviously brought my camera and here are some of the better moments...



Happy Birthday Lola

Lola was born on August 15th and we always like to get her a little something. Ya, she's spoiled, but ever since Noah entered the family, Lola doesn't get as much attention as she use to. Here are some shots of her birthday treats and new toy.



I'm in so much trouble

Attached to Crate n Barrel's website is a link to a children's website called The Land of Nod and it's AMAZING!!! Yet again another baby place I am going to be obsessed with. It is a little pricey, but for special things I think that's okay. They have the vintage inspired toys that I just love. I cannot wait to start Xmas shopping, birthday shopping, and just because shopping!!!!

I already have a dozen things waiting in my shopping cart to purchase when I have the money. If you're anything like me, you keep a running cart going but never buy anything. It just makes me feel good to have it in the shopping cart. Plus, when you do want to buy something, it's already in the cart for you and you don't have to try and find it again.

Baby Things I Love

One day, before Noah was born, I was shopping at Katie Bug's Kloset, the baby consignment shop I mentioned in a previous post. I came across these Carl books. I couldn't believe it! Books for children (only pictures, no words) featuring a Rottweiler! How Cool! My goal is to get the whole collection because there actually is a whole collection of these books. I'm not doing so well, seeing as I only have two, but I was going through Noah's book shelf today and I remembered that I wanted to get the rest of them.

                                  I also found.....

These fabulous black and white blocks. I was immediately drawn to them, maybe it's the teacher in me, but I love them. They are originally from ElegantBaby, but when I went to the website they were not there anymore. However, I did find several other things, unfortunately. I say unfortunately because I now have one more baby site to be obsessed with.
                                              And.....

I came home from the gym (yes, the gym) and found my husband and Noah just like this. I grabbed the camera and told my husband to pick his book back up. We sort of have this motto, "whatever works"(of course safety is a priority) The Baby Bjorn has been one of the best gifts we received.

A Great Deal

There is a local second hand baby store that I love to go to. They are very picky about what they except from others so I know that whatever I grab is in great condition. I don't have to look for stains, tears, or fading. Some of the clothes even have original tags still on them. They carry all the popular baby brands Like Gap, Old Navy, Faded Glory, Carters, and every once in awhile you see Guess, Ralph Lauren, or H & M.

I want Noah to have great clothes, but I am not going to spend tons of money on things he will only wear for a short time. Plus I can sell it all back to them when I'm done.

I am so excited for the things I bought today. It's tough to find cute baby boy clothes, especially ones that aren't all kitchy with characters on them. When I find great stuff I have to snatch it up. I found 4 pairs of pants, 4 shirts, 1 vest, and a onesie for........$45!!! Let me tell you, that is a great price.

Leaving My Baby

I know I am not alone with this and that many women have had to deal with the feelings I am having, but it doesn't make it any easier. I have to say....I am having a harder time dealing with going back to work then I thought I would. I worked hard for my degree and I get bored easily so I never wanted to give up on my career. On the other hand, my mom stayed at home with us and so I also thought I would spend the days with Noah.

Two incomes is something we have to have right now and I HAVE to go back to work. Unfortunately, I did not get a full time position this year so I have to substitute again. Now, not only can I not be with my baby but neither can my mom, so I have to rely on a babysitter.

This is something I have to do, but I am very unhappy about it. I just don't want someone else doing what I do. Now I am going through interviewing babysitters for the school year and it is really tough! How picky should I be?

I, myself, have worked in every childcare setting: babysitting, nannying, daycare, and teaching. So I know what to look for, but this is my baby, my little man.  This is just so hard.

Family: You can't live with them and you can't live without them

I got really emotional trying to talk to my brother today. I won't get into the gory details but, in my opinion, he could be making more positive choices that would improve his quality of life. What do I know? I'm just the older sister. I tend to get emotional when I am talking about something that means a lot to me and it is something I can't stand. I feel like I can't be taken seriously when I start to cry.

I can't help it; When I am discussing something meaningful, tears just come out. Anyway, we don't agree and it might have been pointless but at least I said my peace. Maybe he'll think about it later and maybe he won't.

Peas Please

Big moments in the mommy world. Noah tried peas for the first time on Saturday. I always like to try new things on the weekend so Adam can be there for it. As you can see, he ate it. He also made a face the entire time. By day 3 though it got a little bit better.

The second picture, I just thought was cute.



It is more difficult to find cute clothes for baby boys than baby girls, but since I love shopping I am able to find some great stuff. He looked so mature in this little outfit, I just love it!

Whining

Oh my goodness. I didn't check my email, Facebook, or blog since Wednesday. I had a lot of catching up to do. I helped my mom with her garage sale and she did pretty good. My husband and I finally had a date night. Our last one was in June. Thank you to my wonderful aunt who volunteered to watch Noah on  her Friday night.

I am currently struggling with a few things...
1. My weight. I feel like at 4 1/2 months post baby I should be able to at least squeeze into my old jeans but I'm not even close. I've been working out and watching what I eat. I know I could be doing more, but it's really frustrating.
2. Most schools, in Ohio, start around August 24th. I don' t have much time left and I really, really, really desire a full time position. Even though this means leaving Noah all day, in the long run it will benefit him, because we will be able to do more as a family with two incomes (stupid economy)
3. Need to get back into the groove with my husband. I feel like we are on the repeat button. He goes to work, comes home, makes dinner, I take care of the baby, put the baby to bed, we go to bed, etc.

Although I have a lot to be thankful for, this particular blog is all negative.